a crave that never dies......

i am so damn bewildered about the viscious desires and expectations i have form myself ....... i want to be everything possible in llife....maybe coz i am just too excited for things, big or small, that happen to me...be it colg, love and perhaps his kin,the unsatiated desire to unravel the new me, a new 'top' on sale,my new pink ballerinas,the brownn clip that i bought ,my swift exhausting pocket money,my cherry flavoured lip balm....jeez...everything
everything seem b'ful and ambitious....bt on a closer view ,i have convieniently messed up everywhere....i am living a hasty life...just going with its flow....things happen to me...then they stop happening to me...again they strat happening to me.....i feel like a glutton who has to gulp every bite!....
i am sprinting in a stranded plush green land......sunny day,birds chirping, the plot is perfect.....bt then there is a profusely sweating me with a heart rate uncountable! i sit on a bench and then retire to to think i might have evrything but own nothing