i knew that my life would change before it actually did...

i absolutely remeber the day when it was late at night, and i was talking to my friend on the phone...just 2 days before my family had to move to ghaziabad...leaving behind an accomodation which was my 'actual home'.
that was the day i could feel a void...a huge aort of vacum in my heart. i knew that my life would change ...i so knew it.... i was low and remorseful...my friend cheered me up saying that the change is inevitable... maybe it was for good.... i had no options but to believe it...
now, after almost two years i realised that change is inevitable...but not necessarily it turns out to be for something good...
ever since i moved from there...life has shown me what people generally term as a "struggle". a struggle not to be the fittest amongst the lot in order to survive but i am going through a metamorphosis....
why go far, my supposed love, thinks that i am a liar... that to a habitual one!!! and i have completely no defense... i do not know where am i wrong??? have i mistaken in understanding him and his desires??? or maybe i am wrong in projecting my life.... there is a lot that i go through everyday... at the age of 23, i have a debt of somewhere close to 4laks to pay... i am struggling every moment to breathe... the irony is sich that i cant even put an end to it... i dont know how to live...i have cpmpletely forgotten to feel the simple pleasures of life....something that i was very good at when i was young....
choked!!!!