another patch....rough or smooth...no clue!

i so conveniently can find the current stage of my life in this quote.
i am somewhere happy and somewhere sad,somewhere relieved and somewhere tensed, somewhere content and somewhere insecure.
on occasions i feel that i just cant ask for anything more,and on some i feel why does happiness comes in small packages.
i am bewildered and lost in such oscillations of life.
on some occasions i feel like just giving it away and on some i really try hard to hold back.
all's well and all's not well....maybe i have to encounter the worst or the best.
perhaps its just a part of maturing or maybe this is my incorrect contemplation.
everything seems so new and on some occasions so worn out!
en strangled with these , i eagerly wait for this patch to go.....as i don't mind being happy or to suffer,its just the fear or the anxiety that is in tamable!

touch wood....

hhuuuhh!!!semister end! exams round the corner! race for summer internships!!but why am i not taxed by the above factors??scary huh! nah!maybe its contentment. For the first time in life....i dont feel like holding back,i dont wanna think,i so want to escape the clutter of my mind and the brightest of all...i m sort of convincd to broaden!its not that all sombre factors of my life have finished!everything is so damn same,yet the 'gypsy me' is unleashed!this is perhaps of of the lightest patches of life! sometimes i wonder that has god really started to think about me,but on other occassions i think that whatever it might be.....its BEAUTIFUL!this phase would be the unforgetable time of life! a time that would never give my regrets in life! when i'll be amidst pain...perchance both emotional and physical, i'll recollect honey memories of this phase and combat pain!yaaay !! i am just so happy.....

just another blog

Almost at the end of this year!
With a true belief that 2010 would be positive, promising, and of course a better world altogether!
This year has been both testing and taxing! Right now after reading “eleven minutes” and embarking on “Brida” I feel some kind of a feeling that puts me away from the regular norms of the society but then still I am raged ! There’s a lot that contribute to this frustration!
I have taken up fagging, the finances of my family are diminishing….and the moolah factor has a worse than adverse affect on me!
I cant buy clothes, cant go out to have fun…every other thought in my minds has a calculator attached.. the irony is that I still am not improving on my calculations. Market research calculations freak me out every time! Jeez I am so ducked!
“there’s a prostitute as well as a house wife in every woman” .this is a very intense and a true line quoted by Mr. Paulo Coelho. There is a “skin hunter” as well as a home spun female in a woman who looks out for adulation and security. Both these sides should meet in a very careful and a correct manner else the results could be devastating.
Never knew that I would be a loner in this world full of people….sounds dramatic but its hell true!
My friends are busy managing their love and life! I was never that close to my family! Don’t really wanna date ! am just stuck!
Eagerly waiting for this year to end….
I know there would no miracle at in the new year, but at least that would brake a severe monotony.
I have a numerous questions in my mind! The answers to them are impossible to get! nothing is easy bloody everything has an expensive tag!
I am filled with negativity!! Bad! I know! But every time I try to kick-start with a new vibe, something pulls me down! When would this end?? When?
I am NOT SCARED of being tried ……. But I am a bit exhausted repeating the same trial drill every time!